Back to School with Big Feelings: 3 Ways to Support Your Anxious Child

Back to School with Big Feelings: 3 Ways to Support Your Anxious Child

For many parents, the start of a new school year brings a familiar rhythm—packing lunches, shopping for supplies, snapping the first-day photo. But for some children, especially sensitive or anxious ones, back-to-school season also brings tears, clinginess, and a pit in their stomach every morning.

If you’re the parent of a child who struggles with anxiety, you're not alone. Transitions like a new grade, a new teacher, or even just coming off summer break can stir up worry, resistance, and fear of being away from you.

Here are three strategies that can help make this season a little easier—for your child and for you.

1. Create Connection Points Within the School Day

When a child is anxious about separating, they’re often seeking reassurance that they’re still connected to you—even when you’re apart. One gentle way to ease this fear is by offering them small, meaningful anchors throughout their day.

Try:

• A special note or tiny drawing in their lunchbox or backpack

• Matching bracelets or a “kiss in the hand” goodbye (a la The Kissing Hand)

• Agreeing on a quick goodbye ritual at drop-off (e.g., hug, wave at the door, “I’ll see you after recess”)

These consistent rituals give your child something predictable and soothing to hold onto.

For children with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), these small gestures can be especially powerful. Kids with GAD often worry excessively about safety, performance, or being away from trusted adults. Anchoring rituals help calm their nervous system and give them something emotionally grounding to hold onto throughout the day.

2. Be Present—Strategically

If your schedule allows, offering presence in the classroom in small doses can ease anxiety and build familiarity. Children often feel braver when they see their caregivers being part of their world—especially at the beginning of the year.

Consider:

• Volunteering in the classroom once a week (even for an hour)

• Chaperoning field trips to help her feel secure while expanding her comfort zone

• Attending school events and reminding her, “I’ll be there. You’ll see me!”

This strategy also supports kids with GAD when used thoughtfully. A brief, scheduled presence can ease anxiety without reinforcing avoidance behaviors. If you're concerned your involvement may increase dependence, speak with a teacher or therapist to find a balance that fosters healthy independence.

3. Help Her Build Internal Safety, Not Just External Comfort

It’s tempting to soothe every anxious moment by staying longer at drop-off or giving endless reassurance. While this comes from a place of love, it can unintentionally signal that the world isn’t safe without you.

Instead, support her in building internal tools:

Try:

• Emotion naming: “It looks like your body feels worried. That’s okay—we can name it, breathe, and do our plan.”

• Visual aids: A mini picture book or story about being brave at school

• Therapy: Working with a child therapist (like me) can help her understand and express her anxiety, while building real, lasting coping skills.

Kids with GAD often become reliant on adults for reassurance. These strategies gently guide them toward building their own capacity for managing distress—a critical skill in long-term anxiety treatment.

You can also explore additional tools and advice from NAMI's tips for easing back-to-school anxiety, which emphasize:

• Checking in with your own anxiety and modeling calm

• Listening to your child’s worries without immediately trying to fix them

• Giving choices when possible, to build a sense of control

And for more school-based strategies, the Child Mind Institute offers helpful tips for working with teachers and staff, including how to:

• Watch for common signs of school anxiety (headaches, resistance to getting ready)

• Coordinate with teachers or school counselors to create a supportive plan

These practices are particularly valuable for parents of children with GAD, who may benefit from a strong school-home connection and proactive collaboration with educators.

If you're curious about what therapy actually looks like for children, you can explore my post: What Does Therapy Look Like for Children? It outlines how child therapy differs from adult therapy and how we gently meet kids where they are using play-based, relational approaches.

You can also read more about anxiety in children, including common symptoms and how I use a personalized approach—such as EMDR, play therapy techniques, and regular parent support sessions—to reinforce the progress your child is making in the playroom.

A Final Word for You, Too

Watching your child struggle with anxiety—especially when you’ve worked so hard to create a loving, secure home—can stir up guilt, frustration, or even fear.

You’re not failing.

You’re showing up.
You’re listening.
And you’re helping her learn that big feelings don’t have to stop her from growing.

If you’re seeking support, whether for your child or for yourself as a parent navigating these transitions, I’d be honored to help.

💬 Marissa Barranco, LPC-S

Ready to take the next step?
If you’re looking for compassionate, evidence-based support to help your child (or yourself) navigate anxiety, I’m here for you. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation or learn more about how therapy can help.

📧 marissa@mbcounselingtx.com
📞 512-877-8594